I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
