I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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