We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
