so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
