Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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