im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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