pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
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He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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