Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
