I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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