and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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