Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she told me i tasted like america
you will always have a special place in my vag
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
