my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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