His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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