i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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