i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you will always have a special place in my vag
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
