i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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