i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
