Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
