I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
