Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
