am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
