My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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