those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
