I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize