I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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