I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
