I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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