What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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