I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
