Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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