i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar