You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just pee around me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
