is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we're so committed to being not committed
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."