Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
