Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
