I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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