you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
