I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
