Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize