I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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