i think my tv is drunk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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