i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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