You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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