I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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