You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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