I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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