we made out on top of his cat.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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