Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
