Only a mothe r could love this liver
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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