HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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