If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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