And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
