My hand turned me down
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
