we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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