there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
