I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
