A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
