speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I need moral support for this bender
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
