When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
