You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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