The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
