So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
