That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
