Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
