I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
