i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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