I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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