Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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