what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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