when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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