so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize